It may not seem terribly impressive, or even seasonally appropriate, but god damn it, this is the first knitting pattern I've ever followed to completion..!
Please excuse the daft photo- still, it could be worse..
Here I am oh-so-saucyily sporting a crocheted acrylic beret whipped up on the coach to London a few years ago. I was simply messing around with a 8mm glittery hook and some chunky yarn, and before I knew it I had something large enough to shove on my head (just..!). It even has the little stalky bit on the top. Needless to say, it hasn't had many outings.